in the last 15 months i have had a still birth, a miscariege,i got pregnant again and then me and my husband separated. we have two older boys ad our little girl is 2 months, we are now trying to work out our marriage but that it is just some back ground, it is getting to the point where my stillborn daughter Elsie would turn one if she had made it to full term, she would be around 11 months now and ever since Sophie has been born i have been thinking about her a lot more, i miss her more and i have having dreams that i get the chance to swap Sophia for Elsie and that Elsie would be completely healthy when i wake up i actually feel upset that it was a dream and that i didn't get Elsie back.
i have tried really hard with Sophie, i have tried talking about her a lot, i am proud of her when she does stuff and everything but i feel that she has taken Elsie's place and i hate it, i really wish that Elsie was here and not her, i want Elsie back so bad. i Love Soph a lot and try my hardest but i still feel the same way
Don't let Sophie suffer as well, you must bond with her.
I had a friend who had a still birth at around 30 weeks, her daughters name was Angel. She also got pregnant after and realised she didn't want Poppy, it wasn't until she took an overdose when Poppy was about a year old that she realised Poppy needed her when she cried out for a kiss and a cuddle.
Poppy saved her life. She felt awful after the things she said about Poppy, she felt Poppy was replacing Angel, especially when Poppy was wearing clothes that were meant to be for Angel. However, Poppy wasn't actually doing anything wrong apart from being a baby. Poppy needed her mother.
You need to see a GP and tell them how you feel, they should understand as my friend's story was apparently was quite common. They'll refer you to a special mother and bonding unit, it's not too late to change and become a better person, for Sophie's sake, I'm sure Elsie is looking down and doesn't mind that her younger sister is alive and doing well.
You must keep trying with the counselling, you and only you can help yourself. I can tell you love her, just look at your avatar display picture and your name, just look at that and keep going.
I really want to be a police officer. I just turned 20 so I'm still young. I'm pretty athletic, been hitting the gym alot lately. I'll try to make a long story short.
I tried college, hated it! I joined the Army back in September 09' but backed out before BCT. I just wasn't ready. I only scored a 57 on the ASVAB which sucks but my GP scores were all like 108. I find myself common sense smart, quick on my feet, can handle myself in high stressful situations. I'm going to try the police academy when I turn 21 so hopefully that works out. My dream career is something related to law enforcement. Police officer, FBI (I know they require college), body guard, etc. If for some reason I can't get hired as a cop, maybe because I don't have college, then I'm going to join the military. I know most cities require college, but there are a few around my area who do not. Anyways I want to do something similar to what I want to be in the civilian life.
It seems to me like people who are retired Air Force tend to be more successful in the civilian life. But from a couple of military buddies I have, they say Air Force is more of a cake walk, which I don't want. Then again I'm not sure if I'm ready to be deployed overseas yet. So my question is what do I do? Army Infantry and try Army Ranger school down the road? Marines? Air Force Pararescue also known as PJ's (Pararescue Jumpers)? I'm stumped... HELP!