I constantly have the desire to torture and kill people. It's not people who make me mad, it's regardless of race, gender, age (I don't have anybody specific in mind), I just want to hurt people very badly. And when I say very badly, I mean like chopping them into little pieces while they are alive and can feel it, or beating someone they love to death in front of them, etc. I love thinking about it, and I know it's not normal. So my question is why do I have these thoughts and urges? I think I may be psychotic but I'm not sure. My mom (who doesn't know anything about this) just says that all of my symptoms (IE lack of any strong emotion, lack of empathy for my friends problems, constant irritability with my brothers who never stop just making noise) are caused by depression, but I'm not so sure.
Why do I feel like this?!?!? I am so insanely curious as to why, although I have absolutely no desire to change and live up to what society deems "right" as far as ethics and human life are concerned. Please help me understand!
It would be premature to conclude you have a sadistic streak. I guess you have some unpleasant childhood experience, making you what you are. Besides, your hatred is just day-dreaming.
Visit an abattoir and see what real killing means. Or else, try to kill a cock for dinner. If you can do it without feeling of sympathy- or empathy- see an experienced psychiatrist.
A serial killer must be stopped in his tracks. By the way, the candid account you have given about yourself does suggest you suffer from hebephrenic disorder. Saving grace is you admitted everything, which means there is a strong normal self is still part of your personality.
Please comment, critique, or offer advice on changes. Thank you.
"The Brahman dreams"
I am the ship minus its sails
I am the Winter minus the gales
I am the echoes of uncertain skies
I am the sorrow of unliving eyes.
Brought to a meadow of divine wisdom
Whence came dreams of an undefiled palace
An answer to Nebuchadnezzar's dream
To have drank from joy's ornate chalice.
Under the vigil of hidden shadows
Subject to the utterance of clouds hallowed
To prevail in this wicked game of chance
To feast, to sleep, to, with Ishtar, dance.
The ages pass with solemn indifference
Unaware of our captor's device
We're mesmerized by madmen in reveries
As wrought as the plans of men and mice.
Change is a dying river
Destined to run dry as bone
We're the puppets in a madman's play
Our future inscribed in stone.
I smell the blood of my brothers
I hear the cries of my friends
This castle is really an abattoir
We are fodder for the machines of war.
Like Blake's epic Jerusalem
The doors of the cosmos close
I see the man with the golden eyes
He is walking behind a rose.
you all know how i hate slaughter. well, i want to make something of my self. i want to grow up on a farm, instead of the useless city. i want to live on a farm and rescue horses. i don't want to just buy completely healthy horses that have nothing to lose. i want to rescue horses from auctions that are about to be sent to slaughter. i would train them, i would get them back to a healthy life style, and then sell them to APPROVED homes. i am 150% against horse slaughter. it's wrong and inhumane. they ship horses to places against their will and kill them for money and food. i am against all slaughter. i know some of you may eat cow or pig or what ever. i am a vegetarian. i am not judging any one out there. i am just saying i don't eat animals. i love horses. i want to see slaughter stop world wide. what do you think about my life line? lol.
LQ: How many horses do you have?
no rude comments!